Who's the man? Who is that art school student with the most? "Dan!" Damn straight.
I just routed my phone line from the front of the house to my room, connecting the phone jack wires and making sure everything was working nicely. And the result is me, online, at home, enjoying digital freedom once again. New locale, different vibe, same great taste.
I just got off the phone with A, and things seem to be going pretty well. We talked somewhat normally, without any wierdness, which is good. I'm feeling good about it.
Its great to be back at school. Although I'm not fully in the groove, I can feel the fire lighting under my ass. Slowly. Warm at first, but in a few short days, that zippo lighter of a flame will become a full fledged Olympic torch of driving energy. The hunger will come back, and the want is beginning to reemerge.
Its awsome to have something to think about again. All this other stuff that had been occupying my mind before is draining, and complicated, and time consuming. Not to mention it prevents me from focusing. I feel great to be getting back to that space where I was before all this happened. That contentment. Oh, and being back in the lab is good stuff. Familiar faces. New faces to get to know. I digs it.
I'm realizing that too much time on your hands is bad. I start to mull things over to death, and that doesn't help anyone. Neither does always looking backwards at what has happened. A healthy dose of that is prime; anymore and you're beating a dead dog to...death? Is that how it goes? I think, mayhaps not, but you get the idea. So school, friends, and passion is a most welcome change.
Just an update yo.
1/31/2003 02:57:30 AM
1-26-03 (when I didn't have internet access)
Well, I just finished off a plastic cup of OG Captain Crunch cereal and milk. First meal I've had at the new pad. Actually, I just came back from Safeway, but I can't find any freaking thing to cook with. Damn shame too, cuz I got these fat lamb steaks to christen this new place, and now I can't even cook 'em up. Hence, the "plastic cup" of cereal...hell, had a hard enough time trying to find a spoon.
The 'mates are out, and I'm just sitting in my half-unpacked room at 8:40pm, with Independence Day playing on Fox on the tele next to me, and some tunes playing on my computer. The whole moving process took just over 3 hours, which surprised the hell out of me. Will came over to help me out on my team, while 4 of theirs came over, so there was a lot of help. As it is, I've got the smallest room, but the best, and brightest view. It was a tough choice, because this room is pretty small compared to what I've had over the past 2 years. But the other room, although larger, has only a single, small window with a crappy view. The way I figure it, how much time I spend in my room, I definately need lots of natural light, and a nice view. Hope it works out, because the window of oportunity to switch has already passed.
Moving has always been a pain for me. Things never usually go right, and one thing that always get screwed up is switching my phone number from one residence to another. I'm going to call tomorrow and get that done. Funny thing, but I'll probably have to walk to our old pad 3 blocks away to make the call, since I don't have a celly. I left my phone in my old room specifically for that reason. Lets hope this is the first time things go right.
Ha, I'm just rambling, half in a typing daze, knowing its coming out pretty uninteresting, but what the hey. I've got no way to upload this, so I'm typing it in notepad. More later, as I get more spaced out...
And we're...back, its 1:52am. Since the last entry, my 'mates and I more or less finished unpacking the kitchen stuff and all the common room things. With everything put away, things are feeling more homey. In contrast, my room is still half-unpacked. I'll probably just set up my bed tonight and leave the rest for tomorrow. I won't feel complete here until I get my phone, cable, and mini-blinds installed. I'm shooting for wednesday for all these things to come together.
Welp, the new semester starts tomorrow. I won't be going to school manana, but I will be heading out to pick up a few knick-knacks for my place and myself. First thing on the list though, is to head over to my old pad. I'll probably vacuum the place, and switch my phone number over to this place before I take off.
One good thing about having a smaller room is ya learn to organize and maximize space. At the old pad, my room was huge, but all my shit was strewn all over the place, so it actually made the space look smaller. Thats a good thing about moving, come to think about it. It gets you to go through all your stuff, and throw out what you don't really need. Then it gets you to pack it all up semi-neatly so as to make unpacking easier. I feel like I got rid of a lot of crap I didn't need.
Okay, I'm going to go brush the chompers and set up the bed for sleepin'. I'll probably be back one more time for some final thoughts for the day.
And I'm back. Final thought of the day? I'm f'ing tired, I'm going to bed. 2:59am
1/31/2003 02:41:21 AM
Wednesday, January 29, 2003
Oh damn, I just remembered. She asked for a copy of the picture we took before she left, and I promised I'd e-mail it to her.
1/29/2003 06:42:19 PM
I knew it would happen, I guess I just wasn't sure when, but I saw "that girl" today. Since the last post about her, I hadn't talked to, or had any contact with her. All that mularky about being friends and hanging out was probably me just trying to find a positive resolution, in my mind, at that time. As the weeks rolled on, I came more and more to the conclusion that I would not call her, or e-mail her, or message her if she came online. Maybe its me trying to build up some pride, after the jellyfish I had become the last time I saw her. Yeah, its probably...most likely...definately that.
So I was walking to school after a few hour stint at Borders reading High Fidelity(my new favorite book btw...and I'm only nearly half done with it), and a late coincidental lunch with D, when I saw her out of the corner of my eye. I'd like to say it was because she was wearing a white sweater, against everyone else who was wearing dark, but it was probably more the fact that I could spot her a mile away. I just kept walking, fully prepared to walk right past her, but she saw me and stepped aside and waited there looking at me. I looked at her in mock surprise and we went through the motions:
"Hey, whats up?" "Hey, how's it going." "Not too bad..."
And on it went. On the outside, I'd like to think I was the picture of cool, breezing through questions about her trip, and my trip back home, and where she lived now, and how she was doing, but on the inside I was nervous. Not perilously nervous, but nervous, and I couldn't really understand why.
There were a few of the strange, stagnant lulls, and unsure looks sprikled throughout, but I could've done worse. I let her off on her way, and then I remembered:
"Hey, I have your CD." "Which one?"
I had forgotten to give it back a long time ago. She told me not to worry about it. Then she remembered:
"I've got a new number, if you want it?" "uh, sure." (what was I supposed to say, no?)
I fumbled for a pen, and she ripped a corner off a sheet of paper, and I wrote it down. We parted ways and I felt relieved that it was over. And not only that, but our first meeting was over, and from then on, it would be easier if I saw her walking down the street again. Her number? I'm tempted to just toss it. I won't be calling her, thats for certain. Not out of spite, but just because there's no real use for it.
1/29/2003 05:58:35 PM
