hell f'ing yeah....no alarm clock.
12/27/2002 03:50:42 AM
Ahh...it was great to get out of the city and spend time with the family. Exchanging gifts and all that was great, but having those homecooked meals was just damn awsome. Especially since my diet lately has been pretty crappy. As a matter of fact, I'm actually my highschool weight at the moment (which is pretty nutz, considering I was a skinny little tweed), but after these two days, I'm beginning to get my appetite back. When we first got there, my mom made "banh sao", and it was the shiznit...or as Jerome would say, tizoiiiight. You don't get banh sao like that at restaurants, usually because they'll skimp on the meat and shrimp, and because banh sao has to be made to order.
My brother pretty much took care of the presents for my parents. He bought them, I'm pitching in half. Yeah, I know its a cop out, but finals kicked my ass this semester and Christmas concerns didn't really come around till Sunday for me. TnT was also running "A Christmas Story" for 24 hours on Christmas eve, so I just left that on as I slept, and I think it got to me osmosis style. I hadn't seen the movie in awhile, but damn, every time, it gets me. Sure, I'm not white, nor did I grow up in the 40's, or in the midwest(or wherever it takes place), but I can totally relate. Just by being a kid around Christmas time. "It....it was....soap...poisoning...." gah, priceless=)
So what did I get for Christmas? The biggie was a Nomad IIc 64mb mp3 player from my brother (which is enroute). He always gets me the good, useful stuff man. I wear the watch he got me last year every day. I still use the discman he bought me 4 years ago, and the Timberland shirt he bought me like 5 years ago I still wear regularly...its actually one of my favorite shirts(its true, just take a glance at the photos of me through the past few years). Man, when he has kids, they're gonna reap the benefits, just you watch. He'll be the dad like in A Christmas Story, getting his son the Red Rider bb gun.
I gave my brother a painting I did as a final for my clothed figure painting class. A painting that actually won as the favorite painting in the class, which really surprised the hell out of me. It won me a 16x20 frame, and some jollies. Its a nice little piece of my brother and his dog Swan (the sweetest husky, or dog for that matter, I've ever seen)out for a walk. Maybe I'll post a picture of it soon. Its a tiny thing, 11x14, unframed and unvarnished. It took just a few short hours to complete, but its a nice piece nontheless.
From my parents, I initially didn't get anything...which turned into a whole assload of stuff. Check it. They didn't get me a christmas gift perse, which is totally fine with me, because paying for my schooling is by far the biggest christmas gift. But spending the night over there, we decided I'd go back to San Diego for a few days. Also, the next day (today), we went to Walmart and I got a new electric razor, and a quick boil hot pot for my room, for whenever I want to drink tea. Sweet ass eh?
Ahh, so its settled. I'm heading back to San Diego on Wednesday the 8th, arriving at 2:45pm, and leaving Saturday the 18th at 7:20pm. Sooooo, if any of you guys reading out there can lend your automotive talents to picking my ass up or dropping me off, let me know...cuz we're looking for people like YOU! As for what I want to get accomplished down there, I just basically want to take it easy. The last few times I came back down, it was only for 4 days or so, and it always felt like a mad rush to see everyone at least once. So I came back feeling like I hadn't even had a vacation in a sense, because I didn't have time to take it easy. This time, I've got a fat 10 days there. That should be plenty of time. I can probably even fit in a few jogs around my old stomping grounds. Maybe some nice leisurely walks, go to the neighborhood library for an afternoon. Of course party and hang with the fellaz and fellazas...err...what is the feminine counterpart to fellaz? Anyways, it'll be great to recharge yo. I definately need to go to the beach, just to see it and smell it, and walk along the boardwalk. Even though I'm well aware that if I were to go swimming I very well may freeze my nuts off...I wouldn't be totally against it. On a tangent, I was just watching some documentary on Navy Seals training on the discovery channel, and if those guys can endure 5 near sleepless days being almost endlessly wet, I can stand a brisk swim or body board session. Grrrrr....
I've also been thinking about ringing some of my really old buddies from like highschool/middleschool and meeting up with them in the time I'm down there. Guys I haven't seen in ages. And maybe an ex or two...howzabout that?? Just to say hi, and see where they are with their lives. Its always good to keep up, and check in every once in awhile, no?
My sleeping schedule is getting somewhat normal. Well, had been, until tonight, where I'm sitting up at 3:34 in the morning blogging. Other than that...I'm damn tired. I'm about to go brush my teeth, blow out the scented candle next to me, hit the lights and nod off to lala land. Talk to you later alligator.
*psst...thats where you say, "In awhile crocadile"*
12/27/2002 03:41:32 AM
Tuesday, December 24, 2002
Okay, so its been a pretty dismal christmas vacation so far. The girl thing. Now, I got pissed at a friend of mine who's leaving for japan in 2 days for a few months. The plan was for him to move his stuff to his friend's house at noon till 3, then we'd go out for dinner later on, and then to watch Two Towers. I bought the tickets online last night (non-refundable). And it turns out, after moving, he decided to catch a nap, after not getting any sleep the night before. Well, he just called at 10pm, with apologies. What a complete waste of a day, night, money(the two tickets, which were to be his Christmas gift), and what pisses me off the most, is that I chose to delay going to my parent's place so that I could take this guy out. I could actually be spending time with my family right now, instead of being here, dissappointed and pissed. I reamed him out on the phone, and now I'm feeling bad about it(even though he deserved a lot worse) just because it'll probably be the last time I'll talk to him on the phone for a long time. Its like, even if I really gave it to him on the phone, it wouldn't really make anything better. I guess I was just trying to make him understand how dissappointed I was, even though I knew he understood already. It was his fault for not finding a definate way of waking up, but of course he didn't mean to sleep that long.
Crappy thing number three started the other day...I was at W's place, and L finally asked me why I hadn't hung out with him in 6 months, and I finally told him. I had been meaning to tell him, and it was just the right time. And I gotta say, he took it really hard. Especially when he asked H if he felt the same way several days later.
Ugh. Whoever said "when it rains, it pours" wasn't lying. But hell, things could be worse of course. I am going down to see the family tomorrow morning, and I'll just write H an e-mail to smooth things out. As for L, I'm not sure what I'm gonna do about him...but I should talk to him too, later on.
As for the girl thing, I don't know. I'm just trying to get over it. I talked to D the other day, and he just said "hey man, mine didn't work out either. There's plenty of other meat out there." It was a short talk, but it really helped. Maybe because he knows her well too, and he's up on the whole thing first hand. Still, it takes energy to get to know a girl, take her our, have those long talks...and when its time to kind of move on, it almost feels like a waste somehow. And if you want to get to know another girl, its like you've got to start that whole process over again. I ended up not calling her like I said I would in the last post. The last week or so I'd become a vulnerable, sappy puss, and I didn't want to perpetuate that by calling her. I just want to get back to where I was before I met her...actually, get beyond where I was when I met her. I've learned a few things, and I'll be striving for that.
I should hit the sack early tonight. Bing Crosby on the tv next to me is helping a bit.
12/24/2002 11:01:36 PM
Monday, December 23, 2002
Yesterday, in Union Square, we sat on a stoop facing the big city Christmas tree. The night air was crisp, and families and tourist surrounded us. Kids running to and from, and their parents chasing them. We had just finished some Christmas shopping for her sister, and now we sat there sipping on chai tea from Starbucks.
We just started talking about various things. Family, home, memories, her experiences in the city so far, where we each were in terms of life. Later on we talked about "us", and how she wasn't ready to feel intimate with a person right now in her life. She had just moved out here to the westcoast, started a new school, and was meeting a lot of new people. And that was where she was comfortable with it. I guess I knew ahead of time. Almost before she told me, but my heart sank a little nevertheless. I told her I think I just met her at the wrong time. If I had met her a year before, or a year after now, I think things could've been different. I don't think she could've let me down any softer, or it couldn't have gone any better in terms of saying she wasn't ready for a relationship. And it just reminds me why I like her.
It was a nice talk. The kind of talk I'd been wanting to have with her for quite awhile.
I'm not feeling crappy I would say...more meloncholic about it, as it could've been different somehow. But I told her how I felt, and I gave her a mix CD I made for her which expressed how I felt, and some of the things I wanted to say to her that night. When I got off the train on my way home, I walked with my copy of that same mix cd I gave her, and I listened to the same song over and over again. I walked right past my door and took a slow walk a few blocks around the neighborhood.
I don't know if there's ever a chance for something with her in the future sometime, but I decided that I'd just be there for her as a friend, and if something came of it, then it did, but I'd prepare myself if it didn't. Thats pretty much all I can do. So I'm feeling down somewhat, but relieved at the same time. Besides, there's a whole winter break ahead of me, and Christmas with the family just around the corner. Things to do for the next couple of days, which should help me ease out of this. And she'll be gone starting tomorrow morning, till the 2nd. Then she'll be gone again from the 3rd till the 18th. So hopefully, it will be good for me to get back on track with myself. Even though we said our goodbyes yesterday, I'll call her tonight just to see if she's all ready to leave.
12/23/2002 01:18:29 PM
