This morning I woke up with the reason I'd been down for so long....and I guess, identifying the issue is the first step to resolving it, ye? I'm kinda glad about that...it makes things a little less ambiguous. So this day started off on the right foot.
I had planned to wake up earlier and head down to school to go to class...nono, I don't have class on friday, its just that sometimes I attend my Clothed Figure Drawing teacher's friday class as well to get in some extra drawing. But since that plan was already shot, I hopped on my computer....and the strangest thing, I found that I was playing Deus Ex not more than five minutes later.=X I can't explain it....but, well...seeing as how it was already loaded up and everything, I decided to play it for awhile. And its a good thing too, because while playing, I decided that today...would be the day, that you made me a woman.....no...nono, wait, wrong song. ANywayz, I decided that today I would do what I'd been putting off for various reasons....I WOULD......get a haircut.
I called up a friend to suggest a place...we all decided to eat afterwards too. So I took my shower(don't ask why I took a shower before going to get a haircut, I felt a wee grubby), and headed off. I haven't been to the barber since I was probably 12 or 13....nono, my hair hasn't been growing since...if it had, I'd be "Cousin It's" cousin. Nah, its just that either my brother, friend, my mom, or myself would cut it. The highschool years, it was mostly me cutting my own hair...hence, alot of the wierd styles I used to sport back then...what my mom dubbed the "pineapple cut"....the comb forward, the ghetto braids, etc. Anywayz, lately(being the last few years), I entrusted moms and all her hairstyling fury to take care of my hair. And she'd done so...quite well in fact. She's a great stylist...its what she does.
Anyhoo, I digress. So as you can see, its been awhile since the barber for me. I'd kinda been putting it off for that reason...cuz I guess I was waiting for someone to take...but today was the day I decided. But it was completely painless...I went into a reccommended place, and it was quick, and hassle free...I could definately get used to it. Iooked in the mirror as the locks I'd been growing for like 7 months came down onto my lap...and instantly, my head felt lighter! haha...sounds wierd, yes, I kno. Its a wierd thing getting long hair cut. There wasn't all this crap hanging around my ears, and hair down the nape of my neck, and falling into my face, and tickling my brow...there was none of that....it was soooo cool!=) *here's me gettin' all excited about getting a haircut...put me on Seseme Street or something*
Afterwards, we went to eat at this dope restaurant...my friends have been telling me about it all along, but today I finally experienced it, and wow, its great chinese food...I'm DEFINATELY coming more frequently....cheap prices, and great food...what else can a body ask for.
btw....my head's light! hhah...and I realized how little shampoo I have to use...
After the meal, I headed downtown to the quick studies workshop. Tomorrow, the illustration department at my school is holding a costume carnival, which is basically where models dress up in costumes from a chosen era, and we all draw them...fun stuff, I've been to a few of these. So in order to wake up early enough to claim a spot for myself, I've got to end it here...take it easy, we'll meet back here later.
4/14/2001 01:49:13 AM
Thursday, April 12, 2001
I'd been meaning to post these last few days, but whenever I had gotten around to it...it was around 5:30am, and I was just too tired...what have I been doing you ask? "Deus Ex" I'll say...=) Its a game...a very good game, so far. And what you've got to understand about me is that when I like a game, I REALLY like a game...its like an addiction...well...its not "like" at all, it IS. So I'll come home and play, prepare dinner, then play, eat while I play, etc...with 'bouts of Starcraft with the fellaz and some other this 'n that inbetween. I absolutely love games like this...that draw me into their worlds...last semester(if you were reading along back then) you'll remember me goin' bonkers over "Planescape: Torment". With me, its all about story. A great story in whatever genre of gaming, and I'm a sucker for it. I'll play day and night, savoring every minute...given that it doesn't do anything benificial for me, save my enjoyment and giving me ideas, I guess one could say I have a "problem".=) Some smoke, some drink, some do crack...I play games. Good thing is, outstanding games like this only come out every so often...and another good thing is, I can kinda get lost in playing it, and forget about the crumby mood I was in.
On monday, I made my way to the Virgin Cafe intent upon finishing the 9th Sandman graphic novel...The Kindly Ones. I'd gotten about halfway through my previous reading session, and I was itching to find out what happened. First of all, I have to say that the Sandman series has got to be one of the best things I've ever read in comic format. I do have my preferences on certain volumes, and after finishing The Kindly Ones, I've got to say this is definately one of them. Afterwards, I just sat there....thinking...like, "did what I think just happen, happen??" Then I kinda sad...and....well, I strongly reccommend the series....yes, the ENTIRE series. I think reading the volumes out of order would just lessen the experience....because they do have references to earlier ones. I'm really anticipating reading the 10th one, The Awakening...just to see what exactly is going on....the 9th one ended somewhat abruptly. After tomorrow, I'll be able to carry on a discussion with anyone on the subject, should anyone wish to do so=)
Jazz has been the order for the last few days...it just seems to fit nowadays...so I'm going through my old collection, and downloading some new-old stuff. On Tuesday before class, I made my way down to the local music store and picked up a book of a few jazz standards...I'd actually been waiting to pick up a certain particular book that I saw in San Diego right before I left to come up here, but alas, I didn't come home for Spring Break...and I just could wait any longer. I'll probably end up getting that book anywayz, simply because its got my fav tune in it=) But since yesterday, I've been anticipating the moments when I can play(which, between coming home late and not wanting to keep everyone up, has been a little sparse)...and although at this point, I suck like all hell...its more for my personal enjoyment....though it'd be nice to come to the level where I could play in front of people without being sheepish about it=)
4/12/2001 04:55:10 PM
Monday, April 09, 2001
As of now, I can't say I'm totally "happy"....I guess its nothing I can really put my finger on...but I've been kind of meloncholic for awhile now. Wonder if its apparent in some of my writing....oh yeah, well I haven't been writing much lately. What do I want....*shrugs* I think whats got me down is a series of realizations about life...that I've come to in the past few months.
Relationships...in general...just one human relating to another when you break it down. But oh so much more complicated....I think these relationships is what a large part of life is all about...and it is really comforting to have stability in these things...but this semester, things are in flux...and its really apparent to me now how much things DO change...and what I'm thinking now is that you've got to change along with it, or at least deal with it if you want anything rewarding to come out of these things. But sometimes its hard...really hard. And ya just don't wanna deal with anything...and...I sometimes I wish no one knew the url to my site so I could just blog in complete anonymity. Thats what I need right now...hmm...that doesn't sound half bad at all...I'll think about it.
Another thing is life...hah...big huh? Jobs, school, carreers, the uniformity of it all...the feeling that I'll become another "working stiff", a term I really detest by the way...it envokes an image of a person who isn't really living at all...simply surviving...and thats not, I repeat NOT what I want.
Having all these people visit me from home makes me homesick...Susan tells me she knows how I feel...and I think she does. Sunny San Diego...beaches, familiarity, etc...for me is home. Sandals, malls, people...I'm not saying I want to go home and stay there...cuz I'm sure I'd start to miss SF=) Well, I guess I don't have to explain.
I've been thinking about traveling lately....on my own or with someone, but somewhere far away. I used to not be into the whole traveling bit when I was younger. But I think it would be a really good thing for me...no one to depend on, I'll learn to completely rely on myself...while meeting interesting new people and experiencing a whole different take on life. Maybe a village or small town in Europe...cobble streets come to mind. I look at photographers....who were born in say, LA...then for no reason at all, will live in China for like 10 years...I mean, thats something else...to follow those passions to the extent of just moving yourself to another place far far away, for a long period of time...way out of your comfort zone, but still confident in your self-reliance enough to know that things will turn out alrite, because you can count on yourself.
Or....maybe I'm just thinking about escaping....depending on myself, so I won't have to depend on others...
Or...maybe its a little of both.
Which probably won't happen for awhile at any rate.
I'd really like an anonymous blog.
At least for times like this....
I'd like to just sit home and rent movies and watch them all day while its raining outside.
Well, its raining outside, so thats a start.
4/9/2001 04:30:31 AM
Well, they just left awhile ago...I'm here, enjoying a whole mess of japanese sushi rolls Mai got from her work(hostess...NOT a server=)...come to think of it, leftovers...there are a LOT of leftovers...from our meal at the chinese dumpling place last night, these rolls, half a box(we finished the other box and a half) of Krispy Kreme donuts, some drinks, one Mountain Dew and half a box of White Cheddar Cheez Its=)
Hmm...it seems that Nelz "forgot" the 2 carne asada burritos...but they DID bring 2 boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts as an offering, which was pretty dope=) We had some fun, and spent a lot of time eating...visited the SFSU campus and Berkeley today...and man, it makes me wanna get out ot that side of the bay more often...it felt great to get out of the city. Plus all the small shops and college folk...I think I've mentioned before that I kinda miss the university feel....it was funny, cuz walking around there, its like whenever a student walked by, I'd just be thinking, "damn...there goes one helluva a brain".
Whats cool about having people visit and showing them around is that you'll do stuff with them in your own city that you haven't done by yourself...and maybe start some habbits...like we went to get boa ba like 2wice=) (y'kno, its that tea with the balls in it...I've heard likened to "rabbit pellets", but disregard that=) It was some good stuff...I think I'll be getting that more often....
It was wierd trying to give directions...I mean, I've lived in the city for at least 2 years on and off...but the catch...I've been riding the Muni this whole time...so its like, trying to give directions in a car is foreign..."Shooot...the bus driver is the one worrying about that...all I have to do is pull this little metal cord and I get off" Needless to say, we did get lost a few times...but thanx to my *ahem* unparralleled pathfinding gift, we made it home alrite...with only a half an hour delay!
