Dude...today I learned a little more about myself....it was the day that a big drunken homeless guy tried to pick a fight with me...haha...*Scooby errruh?* Okay okay, lemme rewind.
So I get off the bus and onto Irving, my duffle bag(I carry this mamma everywhere), my laundry bag in one hand, and my CD player in the other...I walk down Irving toward my usual laundromat. I see these two guys, ones a big oaf, and the other guy...both drunk. I could smell 'em at least a good five feet away...they were walking the opposite direction...talkin to each other...I walk past...slightly, I mean this in all sincerety...SLIGHTLY bump the big guy on my way past them. I keep walking, honest mistake on either part for not watching out. I'm cruisin' to my tunes, the days bright and beautiful, I'm feelin' good...nothing like that is gonna even put a dent in it....
I keep walking and I can barely hear someone talking cuz of the tunes in my ear...I feel a tap on the side of my head....and so I turn around, 75% expecting to see someone I know...y'kno how people'll do that...poke you in a rib, or hug ya from behind or something...then you'll turn around and see its someone you know. So I turn around, its drunken butt. Talking to me...big guy, at least six five or something, cuz when I turned around, I was staring straight into his chest...I don't even bother to take the earphones out of my ears. I just look at him. He says something like, "you knew where you were going, c'mon, I'm not afraid of you...*blurp, bubble* I just look at him, and he pushes me. I look to my upper left...smile...like, "I can't believe you're trying to fuck with me." Its here that I reasses the situation...this guy is drunk...not that that excuses his behavior...it doesn't...cuz butthole surfer shouldn't have been wandering around the street drunk off his ass in the first place...but the second, and most decisive factor...he was homeless, or damn near it...his clothes were ragged, and he sure as hell looked like he hadn't bathed in weeks...that pretty much cemented it for me....just thinking of that quelled my anger...and I have to say I wasn't very angry to begin with...more surprised than angry. I decided then that I was just gonna walk away...alternative? I kick his drunken ass cuz he was obviously trying to bait me into a fight...so I kick a drunken guy's ass...a drunken HOMELESS guy's ass to boot...thats nothing to be proud of. Now I know that me walking away from this guy was gonna give a lot of people...the people watching, the idea that I was pussying out. That kinda hurt my pride, I've got to admit. But then I thought, "I'm not living my life for these people...I'm living my life for me, and living up to MY standards...not theirs." And my standards say that I'll let this slide and not kick a drunken homeless guy's ass. So I turn around...he pushes me one more time...I stop...reasses....yeah...I won't kick his ass today...I walk on...
As I'm walking away, this older guy walks up alongside me and says, "what was his problem?" "I don't kno" "If it were me, I would've knocked him on his ass." "Yeah, well he was drunk" the guy shrugs as if to say "who cares, I still would've done it." Then continues off as I turn into the laundromat...again, I've got to admit it hurt my pride walking away from that shit...looking like a pussy...one part of me hopes some of the people realize what I was thinking, and another part of me tells me I shouldn't even care, I did what I thought was right.
And thusly, I learned a little more about myself. I think I could say that there may have been a time when I would have stood there...dropped all my stuff...my CD player, my laundry, and just pushed that guy on his ass...but not today. I pitied him, and that was it...I wasn't gonna get into a scrap with this guy...and I'm proud of the way I handled it.
This brings me to something I've been meaning to talk about. I think everyone's got a Pride Factor(there's different facets of this, but for my purposes here, I'll define the type I'm talking about)...I'm speaking especially about guys...I guess you can call it the Manliness Factor too...y'kno what I'm talkin' about. The thing inside all us guys that says, "Fuck man, you gonna let him push you around like that?" or "Dude, he's making a fool out of you, kick his ass!" As well as the popular "Clint Eastwood, eat your heart out..." Yeah, its all normal...its natural. How you deal with these feelings differs from person to person, and thus affects how you act. But then there's another level...its a level of excess....I call it the "Alpha Male Complex". Where guys feel like they've always gotta be the MOST MANLY...the MOST LOUD...cause the MOST RUCKOUS...always have to make jokes belittling others to secure their status as Alpha Male Numero Uno. I'm pretty sure we all know people like this. There's degrees of it...and sometimes theres a low-key version of the Alpha Male Complex...where the regular is LOUD, the other is quiet...where the regular uses belittling jokes, the other uses more subtle remarks. Y'get the idea...but its all the same complex...I think this is especially sad...there was a time way back in the day when I felt like I had to prove something...when I was little, y'kno, I wore glasses, wore overalls(haha, my mamma dressed me, what can I say??), the classic nerd. heh...and when part of highschool rolled around, I really rebelled(uhh...not that I was wearing overalls up till highschool...err..). Of course highschool is the age of rebellion, coupled with me rebelling with what I was before...a overall wearing, glasses wearing meek little mama's boy. Heheh...thats an image, ain't it? So through that rebellion I got caught up with some not so good stuff...but y'kno, as the months rolled on to years, and on and on...I learned that that kind of attitude gets a person nowhere. You can NEVER be the "hardest" or whatever...you can never be the "most"...y'kno? You just gotta be you, and keep working toward your individual personal character goals. And so I have...=) And well, I think today's little episode taught me that I may have to swallow a little of that pride to do what I thought was right.
So after putting my clothes into the washer, I walked down to the shop of that family friend to give her my phone number...the one I'd promised her last week. I came last week, but I learned that she had to go home early because she was having a dinner party. She greeted me with that smile of hers...I've got to say, she's still got a very youthful personality, and that sparkle in her eyes when she laughs, even though I'm sure she's pushing seventy. We shot the breeze a bit, and I gave her my number. "Here's my number...if you need anything, you can give me a call.*smile*" "OOh good, good, I'll call you. Do you want to get something to eat?" I agreed, and we decided to eat at the vietnamese joint next door to hers. Her having her store there for close to 22 years, she knew everyone, and they knew her...she spoke to some of them in Chinese, some in Vietnamese...they joked around, she kiddingly jab one of the waiters in the arm.
As we ate, we talked...I learned a little more about her, and her family, her two married daughters...when she came to the States, and where she was from in Vietnam. She learned a little more about my family, my mom...brother, and the like...its was nice to just converse casually, as we ate. When it came time to pay, I got up from the table and started toward the cashier. She grabbed my arm..."nono...sit down, sit down" "No, its okay, I'm gonna pay..its alrite, just let me pay" "No, no sit down...if you go up and try to pay, they won't take it...they won't. They're scared of me." She smiled. I looked up at one of the waiters who overheard...he shot me one of those half-smiles that seemed to say, "I've incurred her wrath before...sit down son." Hehe...so I sat down. We talked a bit more, drank a bit more tea..and we just got up and left. No money changing hands...anything. She told me whenever they go there, she never has to pay...whenever she goes there with friends, and they try to pay, she tells them exactly what she told me. Haha...thats soo cool. Thats that kind of neighborhood friendship that can only develop over so many years...=)
I finished up the laundry on the dry cycle while I read more of those watercoloring books I'd borrowed from the library...made my way home...and I'm due at my friends house pretty soon. I'm NOT gonna get drunk tonite...just a few beers is good for me.=) Oh, and how ironic, we're going to eat at the Ramen house I threw up at last week...aiy...hope cute waitress girl isn't there....or......hope she is...=X
3/17/2001 08:22:11 PM
Whats up all you people in TV land...I'm back...from over 15 hours of slumber!! Is that nuts? Those of you chattin' with me last night around 12ish...I said I was gonna "lay down for a little bit"...and was out till 6:30...then I got up, and practiced some Painter stuff, then went back to sleep at 9 till 12 where someone called and I missed it...then I crawled back under the sheets and woke up at 3:30...HAAHa...I love it!
I don't feel like the day is wasted, cuz its only 3:30 and there's plenty of time...I'm gonna go do the laundry and get me something to eat...probably a big whopping bowl of "fo". Then tonite, whatever anyone's up to doing...its on.
Heh...I just visited Jerome's site...seems he's been drinking again...he's got a low-key drunken blog...did I forget to mention Chris was back in town? Go check him out...as for Ryan, seems he had a real bad day...hang in there bro. Go visit his page and bring a present...and the young buck of the group, lil' Mizark...haha...when I introduce him as Mizark, I rarely take notice of how damn funny that sounds...*ahem* Well, he's still constructing, but if you'd like to see a nice picture of our buddy Gil in the Navy, giving y'all the finger...well, head on over there.=) I've also updated my links page...so anytime you feel like visiting these fine gentlemen, head over there.
That game I had my eye on turned out to be expensive...not bargain priced like I had anticipated...aiy...I'll just have to get Deux Ex from my friend...Other than that, yesterday played out pretty much as planned, 'cept substitute Jack in the Crack for soup=)
I'd told that family friend who helped me get this place, I'd stop by her store last week and give her my phone number in case she needed anything, but when I got there, she'd already closed around 5ish...so I better hustle if I don't wanna miss her today...I'll talk to you guys later...and if u're reading this, STOP! And go out...its another beautifully sunny day...go to a mall...have a Jamba Juice with a friend...get together with some buds and go watch Enemy At The Gates...and YES, its too early to start drinking*stops self* Dang...wierd, I used to always prefer cloudy weather...I'd been so spoiled living in San Diego for all that time, that the Frisco cold was a welcomed change....hmm...ahh, how things change...
Ger informs me that I'm beginning to bitch like her...and by god we can't have that! Who's gonna be her existential opposite?? There'd be a void in online-dom and...well hell, we can't have that now can we?=) By the way Ger, I totally agree with you...the "whistle nose" is an understated nuisance...it usually afflicts older people, with their crop of nose hair totally out of control...but I've heard stories of it affecting people as young as their teens...its a frightening reality...Usually its the result of improper nose maintenance, but I know someone whose nose whistles....because its MADE that way...THAT is scary...I oft imagine a side schematic of his nasal cavity...and it resembles a whistle...of course, no names....to protect the character of the person mentioned...but trust me, if you ever meet *****, you'll know it..."Hey, how's it going? *whistle whistle*
Wow, I'm officially on Spring Break...like OFFICIALLY officially...I feel...free. Feel good...time to recharge...do stuff...lay back...ahhh...
My last class was the speech class...I came 20 minutes late...and it wasn't even because I woke up late...nah...it was because I LAGGED....yeah, this is a trait in my family...my brother takes it to the extreme...it hits me every once in awhile. Good thing the back door was open, and I could slide into the classroom without interrupting the Instructor by going through the front door...the laggers(those who came in late) got to choose from a list of topics for the next speech...of course there was something like 5 choices left...so I chose Roman Art History. Its a manuscript speech...shouldn't be too difficult. I consider this class my "freebee" class out of my 5 this semester.
After we did all that chit chatting about the next speech and whatnot, we watch a sort of documentary of Ernst Haas...it was totally interesting. This is the class the one where we watched the video on the body molding...I tell ya, each one we've seen so far is great...people were falling asleep of course...I guess cuz he was gettin' really philosophical...but it just adds so much to see an artists work, and know what his/her thought process is...I dunno, I just dig insights like those offered by great artists, and people I admire...I listen intently. I mean, if someone's willing to spread a lil' knowledge from their own experiences...experiences that they believe to be important in their own lives, then it behooves me to listen.
So anywayz, after class, I made my way to the school library and passed by the magazine rack(I dunno, its a habbit)...I saw the new vibe had a big picture of my man Maxwell on it...so I pick it up and go sit down somewhere...I feel a little wierd reading Vibe...especially cuz I think its more of a "oooh, N'sync!! JC's my FAV!" type of mag...y'kno, more of a teen rag...at least nowadays. But y'kno, cuz it had my man Maxwell, I just had to see what was goin' on with him...he hasn't released a thing in a few years. I grab a seat at a desk set along the wall and crack open that puppy...flip past scantily clad waife chics and guys who've all got the same look on their face..."I'm the shit". *groan groan* Check the table of contents, find the article...and flip over to it...there's a big glam picture of him sportin' his trademark afro...(right on). I start reading..."...with tight white leather pants, and hips shaking...etc". Man...? Who writes this? It hits me...every article I've ever read from Vibe sounds like a passage out of a bad romance novel...oye. I'll forgive 'em cuz its Maxwell..=) But there's another thing...not really about this particular article, but I have read a few articles in the past years in VIBE...and y'kno what? All these writers always try to portray the same picture of an "artist"...I use that word loosely with some of the crapola out there nowadays...but yeah...its always the whole "tortured artist" treatment...gaddang! heh...I'm sure not everyone of 'em has it so bad..."...and JUST the other day, R. Kelly had to go out on his porch and get his OWN newspaper...this man is so tortured...and he pours all his (back)pain into his music"...heheh...I mean, c'mon!
After the article, I went over to the isles of books...I'd been meaning to check out some watercolor books...its just one of the side things I wanna get into...so I spent about an browsing, and thumbing through a few books and finally settled on two...took them up to the counter and checked them out...reading material for the break...I'm gonna have some time on my hands...its good to get around to doing stuff I really wanted to do, but lacked the time. I've been playing the sax sporadically...and it dawns on me...I NEED TO GET MUSIC...its just gonna sap my energy trying to transcribe songs from my mp3s by ear...which, incidentally is what I've been working at since I got board of the Mary had a little lamb stuff....=)
You know, its pretty damn whacky that I'm here....well...lemme rewind a bit=) As you all know, I think reflecting on the past is an important part of growth...and to quote Socrates, "The unexamined life is not worth living"...so as I sit here, in this chair, at my desk, in my room, of a flat, in San Francisco...it wasn't more than three years ago...I was sitting in a Computer Science classroom at SDSU...I had other classes...I'd walk around the campus from class to class like some ghost...and then go home. Rarely interacting with my fellow student body...too shy to interact. Homework at the computer lab in the "B" building...where all the math and computer classes were...sitting in that class...along with all the other students...some goof offs, some hardcore...my future practically chosen for me by my dad...a large part because I didn't know what I was gonna do myself...he merely took the pressure off by choosing for me...and at the time, I was thankful. In highschool, your whole school career before that is geared toward getting into a good college...and being out of highschool and getting into a college...what the hell did I kno...so yes, at the time I was thankful.
After a few months of droning around school...my day was pretty scheduled...drive to school, wait in line for parking as people emerged in the parking structure...music keeping me company all the while(there's a few songs and records that bring back this time in my life for me clearer than any picture could). Then I'd make the walk to class...class was done, then I'd go home...I really didn't explore my campus all too much. I may go to the library to nap between classes...but deep down I knew, this was not where I wanted to be. Some of the subjects interested me, some did not...but I knew for certain that I didn't particularly shine as a computer science major. The aspirations of going into some kind of art school were kept deep down inside...besides, how could I tell my proud mom whose son was going to have a stable job as computer programmer, that he wanted to do art...and my dad? Well...I was thankful to him, right? For taking that burden of choosing a career path off of my hands.....right?
Well time went on, and the months rolled along...the drone became harder and harder to keep up...when there's no passion in what you're doing...even if you try hard to spark some kind...it becomes a chore. All until the fateful moment when I told my dad how I felt....and....through their support, and that of my brother's...I'm here.=) And y'kno, I may be tired, and drained sometimes...but damnit, there's nothing I would rather be doing. And that kind of clarity of purpose is a rare thing these days...just me typing this out, makes me just so thankful that I'm where I'm at...and its good to go back to these thoughts every so often....when I'm feelin' down....sooo...remind me next time I'm bitchin'=) Wow, thats pretty damn wild...haha. *thinks back* Its kind of like a bird...when I was a kid, I wanted to fly...like all kids did. And I'd look at birds and wonder if they really knew how blessed they were to be able to soar in the skies like that...and how envious I was. But of course they didn't...because they've never known anything different...and I knew that if by some miracle I was able to fly...in time, I would become "used to it"...unless I kept reminding myself of how it was when I could only walk.......so yeah, remember how it was when you could only walk.=)
So I don't make sense sometimes...you should know how to deal by now!=)
3/16/2001 01:10:35 AM
Thursday, March 15, 2001
I spent an hour making fried rice that tastes...like shit. Grrrreat. There were many factors, that I don't wanna elaborate on...but it really comes down to me having to cook the rice cave-style...yo, I really need a rice cooker man.
Well, I finally got through with the "work-related" classes...it was a struggle right up to the end, but now, I'm officially/unofficially on Spring Break...well...unofficially, because I've got a class tomorrow...but really all I have to do is show up for this one...for joy! Well...I'm too worn out to get up and dance over the whole thing, but its definately a break I need.
I'm pretty sure...nono...I'm sure my Intro to Storyboarding instructor hates my class....
I've decided to treat myself out tomorrow..."chilax day" after my last class ends. Maybe some reading at the cafe(something I haven't done in weeks now), dinner at an establishment of my choice...and anything else that comes to mind. Yeah...I'mma start things off right.
3/15/2001 03:09:10 AM
Wednesday, March 14, 2001
Man, I'm feelin' a little burnt out...I say a "little" cuz I'm sure it could be much, MUCH worse...but well, I'm really ready for the break...I've been pissy lately...first the lack of sleep...then all the hours of doing stuff, all the walking...yes, I do a buttload of walking...my shoe soles have worn down and now they make a wierd squeeking sound when I walk...so walking around the library gets a little embarrassing...and sneaking up on someone is damn near impossible. Anywayz...I feel purdy shitty...have BEEN feeling purdy shitty...*stay clear*
What ever happened to the traditional "backpack" for college students...easy, compact, durable...just dandy...but oh, for an art student...every rule is thrown out the window...I have a dufflebag, which I carry my main stuff in...sketch book, pens pencils, handouts, notebook, CDs, CD player, etc...which is just fine by me. Its convenient...easy to manuver...if that was all I had to carry, what a wonderful world it would be. BUT...this semester...Intro to animation...since its important to keep the animation papers flat and we need a space to keep all the other supplies, the duffle bag alone would not suffice...hence, they have these GOOFY ass white suitcase thingies, that look like they're made out of shower glass. So here's me, with a duffle bag slung over my shoulder and a goofy white suitcase thingy...a hastle, but its bearable...keep in mind that I usually have my CD player in one hand...so again...its bearable...IF that was it. but NO. On occasion, I've got to carry around my damn art bag, that accomodates my 18x24 drawing pad, drawing board, charcoal and all that other shit...the thing is HUGE...its dirty from all the charcoal, and its fucking HUGE. So here's me, duffle bag slung over one shoulder, GOOFY white suitcase thingy in one hand, CD player in the other, and a FUCKING HUGE art bag slung over the other shoulder...I feel like I'm part of an infantry unit! Gaddangit...it pisses me off when I have to walk 15 or more blocks a day with all this SHIT. CURSES! I get all tired, I'm all sweating, I feel like shit...I'm the antithesis of graceful, and my damn CD player wire gets all caught up on all the various straps all the time...I tell you, its really pushing the barriers of what the human mind can keep track of...case in point:
Yesterday on my way home after night class...I'm walking and decide to stop into Walgreens to pick up a bottle of water for home...I get up to the cashier to pay...with all this shit slung on my shoulders, my goofy briefcase, my CD player...and now I gotta pull money out of my pocket...I set down my CD player on the counter and reach in my pocket...pull out the money...I hear a coin hit the floor and roll around...I bend down to pick it up, the art bag slips off my shoulder and lands on the ground, the CD player which I forget is on the counter gets pulled with the headphones that are still attatched to my ears, and lands on the ground, ripping the earphones from their connection on the CD player...I'm standing there, bent over with an art bag on the ground leaning against my leg, a quarter in my hand, my CD player on the ground, and earphones dangling from my ears...SHIT. Thats just one of many times...I don't consider myself a klutz by any stretch of the word, but when I've got all my infantry gear on, I'm about as graceful as a ballerina with 80lbs artillery bag on her back...jumping in the air and landing on her ass....yeah, thats me.
Gad, don't even get me started on how bad it is on Muni when its busy, with all this shit attatched to me.
Its 1:38am...I haven't been home for more than an hour...I have to do my storyboarding homework due tomorrow...which will take my sleep deprived ass a few hours at least...Damn DAMN DAMN...I'm fuckin' in a pissy mood...
ALrite...alrite...I feel a little better...aiy...damn, I need this break comming up.
There's this lady in my clothed figure drawing class that I talk to whenever I see her around...I was impressed by her, as she's older(not that old), and so she's working and going to school...and I see her at workshops and in the lab all the time...it shows real dedication...so I'd talk to her...I guess the word best to describe her would be, "jolly".=) She's always laughing and stuff...its pretty cool...even if I'm feelin' shitty like I was today...anywayz, when I first talked to her, I thought she was just a dedicated student working to put herself through school...but just last Friday, I learned she's like the freaking "Chick Version of Indiana Jones"...and yes, I told her so=) We were both at the Illustration Department's Pirates of Penzance drawing and pizza party...so after an hour and a half of drawing...we decided to get some pizza and drinks...as we were talking, she mentioned that she'd traveled around the world...she was majoring in Asian medicine...and her goal was to crossbreed western medicine with eastern...so in order to learn from the masters of eastern medicine, she traveled and LIVED in Tibet for nearly 2 and a half years..."I was planning on only staying 2 weeks, but I guess one thing led to another." HA! Is that nuts??? She lived in the Himilayas man..."Dude, did you live with Monks and stuff??" "Yeah, actually thats where I lived...they have guest houses for visitors, but after awhile I'd been there awhile, they realized I was gonna stick around and wasn't there just to visit or party, so I lived with the Tibetans." "Haha..party? In Tibet??" *laugh* "Man, thats so nuts!" We talked a little about what she learned there, and about the culture..."So can you like throw fireballs and stuff??...y'kno, did the monks teach you any Himalayan karate?" "Himalayan Karate?? hahaaha" Dude...just goes to show ya, people can surprise ya if ya let them...anywayz, I'm sure I'll be talking to her some more about it.
3/14/2001 01:38:08 AM
Tuesday, March 13, 2001
I learned when I was younger that everything is on a cycle. The winds, the waves, and just as importantly, relationships. Its something that doesn't neccessarily need to be recognized, but recognizing it gives you a better insight into your environment, those around you...and thusly, yourself. Its hard to explain what kind of effect this knowledge has had on me...but I would say that a certain peace of mind and understanding rank among the top. Do you get me? I kno its a little broad, but If you do, let me kno...
Have you ever felt like an outsider looking in? Ever ask yourself, "Don't they see what I see? Isn't it obvious?" Do you overanalyze? I kno I do...but its hard to explain sometimes...when watching other people. Intentions, reactions, passions....hah...okay okay, I kno I'm not making any sense...I'm not gonna blame it on the time, nor my lack of sleep for the past two days...howabout a slip of coherency. I'm gonna read a few of my old blogs...I wonder how far I've come...or how far I have yet to go.
3/13/2001 02:16:04 AM
Monday, March 12, 2001
Having food is DOPE! I currently have a phenominal salad right in front of me...and a whole bunch of other goodies to munch on...hell yes, life is good.
3/12/2001 10:16:45 PM
Sunday, March 11, 2001
I'm pretty much recovered...still tired...still got that "doped out" feeling...still got the droopy eyes...the "I don't give a rats ass" attitude...but feeling much better than several hours ago.
So I wake up at like 11:30am...on the couch...feelin' like shit...with a blanket twisted around my body...breath kickin', in need of some water...I look over to the coffee table...cups and bottles of Vodka and Rum....*uuunnnhhgg* Leland walks over from the bathroom...sits in the computer chair beside the coffee table.
"Dude...I feel like ass" "Yeah...same here..." "I can't believe I'm an hour and a half late opening the store...and I can't move" "This sucks..." "I'm sitting here looking at the PS2 because its the only thing around me that doesn't remind me of alcohol" "unnngh..."
He walks over to the bathroom and comes back...he yacked...just like that...got ready for work, and was gone. Me? I've never yacked before...I've never had an alcohol induced yack...I was running a fuckin' world record for NOT yacking the longest...I'm talkin' a STREAK man...I had a 10 year streak going...that is something I flaunted proudly...I worked hard to maintain...
11:45 and my brother calls...I'm still on the couch...feeling shitty, but thinking it'll be okay after a few...I reach over to the phone on the coffee table:
"Hello?" "Hey whats up." "Hey, dad's over here...we're waiting on you..." "Oh, well, I'm gonna clean up over here, I should be home in like an hour...12:30ish" "Alrite, we'll call you before we come"
I set the phone back down on the coffee table...I decide I'm well enough to get up and go wash my face, take a leak, and begin cleaning up...I get up...OOooh...woozy...I stumble over to the bathroom...see the toilet...*unnnfff* Whoa...that was close...I look into the bathroom mirror..."Maintain...you've got a streak man...just hold it in..you're fine...just got up too quickly...your body wasn't ready for it...go back to the couch".
I plop down on the couch...head spinning...that throw-up feeling swimming somewhere in the back of my mind...it comes in waves...I lay there...humm a tune to myself, trying to calm down that urge........I regain consciousness...I look at my watch...its 12:45...shit...I'm late...dad doesn't like us being late...I fumble for the phone and dial up my dad's cell:
"Hello?" "Hi..." "Are you at your place yet?" "(still trying to front)Well, y'kno...I don't think I'll make it." "(Dad sounding irritated)Daniel, you have to be responsible with time, and keeping others waiting, here talk to your brother." "Hello?" "whats up dude, you ready?" "Uhh...(trying to sound completely fine and peppy), well dude...actually, I just need to clean up a bit more over here thats why." "Thats cool..we'll swing by and pick u up from there...how long you need, half an hour?" "Uhh...yeah..okay, half an hour"
I curl up on the couch again..."I can do it...I'm not that fucked up" I tell myself. I pass out for another 20 minutes...I look at the watch..."aww shit...10 minutes...gah" I drowsily get up...squint my face, hold my breath and take all the half full cups of alcohol to the sink...pour them out, rinse...inhale...repeat. I try to make the remainder of the girlscout cookies presentable, put them back in their boxes...grab a few candies and a frapaccino drink for the road. Put on my sweater and slide on my cap....and wait for what I know deep down will be my doom. I feel like shit, although I tell myself differently.
They come...I get in...I put on a weak smile on my face...we drive...it fades...replaced with a look halfway between "You killed my dog!" and "This milk I just drank is HOW old??". I see my brother's eyes looking at me through the rearview mirror...."You hung over or something?" No reply. We drive...dad and bro converse...I suffer...the constant starting and stopping...I muster up the energy and roll down the window...the wind...refreshing...feel better.
We arrive...get out..begin walking to the restaurant. They walk at a leisurely pace...I straggle behind...my head hung low...my eyes shielded by the bill of my hat...one arm droops lazily at my side while the other is fixed on my chest. I waddle along...cursing everyone enjoying the sunny, beautiful day. My dad doesn't seem to know what is going on. My brother is fully aware, but decides not to draw attention to it...I am thankful.
We enter the Ramen house and instantly, the aromatic smells of ramen and japanese food hit me....and I become nauseous. I look around...and a cute waitress looks at me and says, "How many?" "Three please"....we're seated, and the question I've been dying to ask since the beginning of the car ride. "Can I have a glass of water please?" "Of course" My angel....
My brother and dad talk about what to get..."Is this good? Bamboo and green onion..." "Howabout this, Udon" I open my menu and am immediately repulsed by the sight of....food. I close it and put it back on the table..."I don't think I'm going to eat anything." "No? Are you sure? Okay..." "Dude, you should man..." I get the water and I drink it lovingly...ahh...refreshing. But the feeling is only temporary...I begin to decend into head-lulling, eye-drooping hell. It gradually worsens as I become oblivious to what my brother and dad are talking about. My brother looks over in concern...my dad looks over..."Whats wrong with you." I can manage nothing more than a hand wave...the universal signal for "not now please...I feel like shit" He perks up...his eyes now fully on me...it is done...the facade, crumbled...I can no longer maintain...all I kno is that I'm feeling REALLY shitty...and I'm not quite sure what is to happen. My brother breaks in:
"Dude...go to the bathroom...GO to the bathroom now."
Now, it had never occurred to me...but once he said that, I agreed in my mind. "Yes, this man's words are wise...I....shall partake...upon a trip to the estalishment's lavitory facilities." I walk hurriedly over to the bathroom, open the door, step inside, lock the door behind me. My first impression is the faint flowery perfume...I take a quick glance around on my mad dash to the toilet...nice big mirror...fake, but tasteful plants in small baskets sit on the shelf...rolls of toilet paper sit on a towel in another basket...next to the crapper is even a cute little pastel green Japanese trashcan. One thought flashes through my mind right before I assume the position over the toilet..."Damn, this bathroom is fuckin' nice...too bad I gotta do what I gotta do in it"
Just as my head is over the Porcelain God, something unexplicable happens...without so much as a notice, as fast as lightning, yack climbs up my throat and out of my mouth...what seems like at least several cups of saucey, red and white, creamy yack travels from my mouth to the toilet...in such an orderly fashion, that it even surprises me. Minimal spilage...the dainty bathroom keeps its virginal innocence this day. My body breaks out in a cold sweat and I avert my eyes from the yack...and move over to the sink, still surprised at what I'd done. I look at myself in the mirror...I look down at the sink...the sink reminds me of the toilet bowl...and I'm back over the toilet bowl. I just want to say now...thank God for handicap bars in bathrooms...that made a difficult thing MUCH easier...to yack in comfort...and I learned that by holding onto both the bar directly opposite me, and the one to my side, I could get into a position that was very conducive to blowing chunks.
I heave...I ho...I do it twice total...and as quickly as it began, it was over...I look down at the mess in the toilet...and flush right away...I instinctively take a piece of toilet paper and clean the rim. I head over to the sink still a little numb...I look down, turn on the faucet and begin to wash my hands...I look up at myself. "...urrh? HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT! I FEEL FUCKIN' FABULOUS!" And no words were ever truer...for at that moment I felt on top of the world...I felt like I could scale one hundred mountains and not break a sweat...I felt like I was on the bow of the Titanic saying "I'm the King of the Fuckin' WORLD MAN!"...all those things..rolled up into one feeling...man, it was wonderful=)
I walked out of the bathroom with a big smile on my face...I walked confidently over to the table and sat down...my dad looked at me knowingly...with no anger at all...more amusement than anything else...after relating the harrowing story of my bathroom adventure, and how I felt fucking fantastic...my brother laughed...and although I slowly felt into feeling shitty again...it wasn't as bad...I was driven home...I threw on my newly returned Rockapella CDs and dozed off....thus was begun, the road to recovery...and I'm glad to say, I'm feelin physically alrite now...
But shit...I got mad homework to do...so I'd better get on it. take care...and if there's one thing I hope everyone takes away from this story is....****************************(well, if I told ya, it'd just be too damn easy, now wouldn't it??)
3/11/2001 11:00:40 PM
wow...I was fucked up last night....and this morning...I feel like ass....and I'm supposed to go out and eat with my dad and brother...and I'm hungover....umm....how....am I gonna play this one off....hmmm....even looking at any sort of alcohol makes me wanna puke....*blech* Well, there's much to do today...I've got to get my Computer Animation Production homework done...thats probably the biggest stress cuz its due on Monday...after that, its smooth sailing till Spring Break...but yeah, that means I gotta hustle today and tomorro...ugh....alcohol sucks...damn....my poor liver....poor little liver....
I gotta clean up over here, then my bro and dad are gonna come pick me up...dude, I'm glad I did my laundry yesterday...who the fuck does their laundry on Saturday...but y'kno, call it Manly Intuition but I knew something like this was gonna go down....damn, I need to drink water...but the water in this water purifier tastes like lead.....like pencil lead...and thats gross as hell....and blech....thank goodness for hats and beanies...cuz my hair looks like a mop right now...alrite folks...update later in the day, cuz I'll probably be at the Mole Hole in a few hours....
3/11/2001 12:44:26 PM
HAHAH...VItology sucks! AHahAHAH...where ryhming is a crology is a city eats tapes...HAHAHAH...listening to Nas's first album
Y'kno what I"m sayin' bitoch!!! AHAHAHA...I'm drunk off I'm ass.......HAHAha...I'mma take rebudition...hahah....Pimpwar...HAAHHA.......hahhaha....dhahadhd....
3/11/2001 02:19:38 AM
OOoooh...we're watching the Saint...ooooOOOoh...I'm fucked up forealzy...HAhahAaH...Don't Play, NO Pay...HAhAHAhAHa...fucked upforealzy...HAHHAHahhaah...drunken bloggin' comes second only to Nekkid bl0oggin'.....HAhHhAhAhAAH...gettin' your fuck on is greal..........h3ehehe...the man who doesn't concierge...oooh...who the fuck is that...wooo...oooh..we'er watching THE SA(NT...dude...that guy's got a millino voices..or accents...oooh.......dude, wait a minute there's nobody here...oooh, he's a master of disquise...dude, I'm so fucked up...hehehe...hahahah...he's getting into a car....fuckin' awsome...heheh..they're shooting ....the woman said YOU beside the car...hahaha....VAl;Kilmar is awsome...Valkilmar is awsome...haha...I havne't even been looking at the screenm for the last paragraph...haha...I couldn't drive right now...HAhAha...fuck, I'm laughin' alot..hAhaHAH...more later.
3/11/2001 12:52:10 AM
Whats up...dude, I'm hammered...BWHAHAhahaHAhAHAH..its is becoming bibbit...oops ....habbit forming...bwhwhAHAHHAhAh....but sometimes we gotta do what we like...bwhwHAHHah...I'm laughing alot, I've realized...oooh....i"m at leland's house and getting fucked up with hiroshi and Yuichi.....bwhHAHAhAhA....okay, I"ll post when i'm more fucked up...I...bwhHAahhAh...I'm letting go, and letting God...one plus one makes two...and when levoe what you forgot to do is so trash, howabout how smart is her...take it josh, take it...OOOoooh...I'm watching SNL iwth Conan...cool!
3/11/2001 12:25:30 AM
