Well, it is done. I have an abode...the search is over. Yet...I feel strangely drained. Drained as one is when kept from his Fortress too long...charm and wit levels slowly returning to normal.
Last night, laying in bed...in anticipation of today's events...thoughts swam through my mind. I think I may be the most honest with myself when I'm there, in the fleeting moments before I nod off to lala land...and I was thinking. Why was I so against having pops help me out...*well, I thought it was because you wanted to prove to him that you could handle yourself* True true...but when you look at it...why knock a helping hand away...I think a lot of us know that those hands don't come to often...at least with purely good intent...I mean, its my pops...and my family...they're just worried about me. And the longer these shananagans go on, the more they worry...and no matter how much I try to fool myself, by simply telling them, "Don't worry, I'll handle it"...as long as I don't have a place, and I'm floating around the city like a piece of pondscum, from one lily to the next...they'll worry...so hey, help from pops to end this whole thing...its not so bad...I shouldn't feel like I failed or anything. What are friends and fam for if not to be there in times of need, no? Oye.
And I'm currently at CompUSA...so more later. I don't want to hog the computers...I kno these other people are just itching to get their e-mail and whatnot...sooo, more later...
Oh...and my room is HUGE.=)
Toodles.
2/10/2001 06:14:15 PM
Friday, February 09, 2001
Well...its late...and its kinda scary in here...cuz I think I'm the only one over here on the SGI side...and...its a mole-hole...and...as I look around, all I see is darkness....and my open book...well, this stuff is easy...I'll get it done next time...and y'kno what else? I don't think these suckers don't have zip drives! That sucks fat beans man...*sigh* Okay. I think I'm gonna leave...wish me luck tomorro, okay? Thanks..take care.
2/9/2001 09:43:11 PM
I just canNOT get started on this freakin' assignment....its the internet man...I'm sitting at a PORTAL to the wide, wonderful, endless world that is the internet...friends from back home? A click away...porn? A click away...e-mail? A click away...hell, pizza delivery? A click away...damn, buy orphaned babies...a click away...sweet hay-sus! Kinda wonder why we even HAVE a corporeal world, when a digital utopia is waiting just beyond this "big glowing box".
Soooo...I caught up reading my other regular web haunts...Sarin's got a new guy in her life...but he looks "much younger"....damn, is that really an issue? I remember Jerome telling me that was his one big drawback, and I kept assuring him, "Nah dude, you've got the Kool-Aid smile...what woman can resist??" But does "looking younger" really play into the equation? I would like to think not...I mean, as long as you don't look like sperm, you're good to go right? Aye...well, I have to say I've never really had that problem...actually, "looking too old" has been the crutch in the leg for me...I mean, shit...I don't have bags under the eyes...my jowls aren't sagging...I have my mother's thighs...but I've accepted this...What would they have me do!! DAmn...heh...kay.
Then it was Willy's page. He's up to what he's usually up to...the bruva from another mutha. As he would say, the world was about to end because "matter and anti-matter were gonna meet"...but it was not fated to happen...the world is safe...till his next visit to the Bay! But y'kno whats cool...he got in touch with some old friends...he's kinda got that circle of friends thing goin' again...which is simply grand...
Ger is a fag hag...she states it...loud and proud...haha...damnit Ger! They're GAY!! YOU CANNOT HAVE THEM!! heh....I think I kno why she's like that though...without making vast generalities and sweeping comments....gay guys are cool! hehe. Y'kno, I think when I first read Ger's page...it surprised me, cuz I didn't really see her like that at all...cuz y'kno when I read her page, I'm envisioning this girl just throwing her hands up at the world...fuck this, fuck that...goddamn, there's no such thing as "caring for other people" and this and that...hehe...but now its no surprise=) She sure does sound angstful...but from just reading her page, you'd have NO IDEA how much she laughs and smiles=P
Wow, have I TOTALLY been laggin' or what...hehe...well, I DID get started...wait, I'm gonna check what time this lab closes on fridays...I think its earlier than usual. Man, yesterday I walked into the school's building and one of the security guards manning the front desk handed me two tickets to this Valentines party tonite...9-2am...drinks with valid ID. Thrown by the school....and y'kno...even though its a school party and stuff...I would've liked to have gone...but instead, here I am...in the mole-hole...surfing the internet...reading people's blogs...friday night...with my Adobe After Effects book opened to page 21, and the application staring at me just beyond this blogger window....hoy...ah well, I just haven't been feelin' my 100% self lately...sorry if I've been gettin' anyone down reading these things...what with my constant bitchin' about the housing thing. But hey, bloggers are great for bitchin' too...kay, back to work.
2/9/2001 09:23:14 PM
Umm...well, you remember when I said "HOY, I'm off." Well...I lingered, and visited my brothers in the GBM series. Ryan was first... I haven't visited many pages for a few days, so I was catching up on my reading...seems the weather in San Diego is finicky...his dad's got him in the garage workin' on cars...I can see him...say, like 15 years from now...JUST LIKE his dad...haha...Ryan...bro, I had to say it..hehe. You'll have your kid in the garage right beside you, doin' all the stuff your dad makes you do...yeah, I think you'll be more sympathetic...but mark my words...you're your father's son.
Next, it was on over to Jeremy's site... Reading it...and looking at the digital pics...When I visit your page, your page just vibes with "I'm in love"=) I mean, look at that picture of the sunset, and the story about homework on the beach...very much a stable place to be...no big "HOLY CHEESE, MY DOG DIED...I'm SOOO in mourning" or anything like that...just tid bits from the day...yeah, stability.
Then it was Jerome's site....and...it looks the same way it did when I visited over a week ago....hmm...hope you're reading this man.
And finally on to Chris's home... Wow, this is an interesting place to be...thats really all I can say, without just restating what he's got on his page already...would it be sadistic somehow to say I enjoyed reading it? Well, seeing as how he's been going through a lot of ups and downs.
Its kinda wierd...well, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised at all, but all of your guys' pages represent yourself so well...they're just an extension of how I've always known you guys. Yep, and thats the GBM series. 5 guys that met about 5 years ago in highschool...5 guys who've been through much together...haha...it makes me laugh just to think back on some of the whacky shit! hehe...gah...okay, I'd better chuckle my way back to my assignment...=)
2/9/2001 07:14:36 PM
I just came away from a drawing workshop..the hosting instructor was none other than my Digital Illustration teacher from last semester...pretty cool just shootin' the breeze with him again. I also saw John from last semester too, not to mention a few people from classes I have currently. This is the workshop I plan on hitting every week...so far, it looks like last semester's gathering of students for the friday afternoon workshops were cooler, but there's still hope=) And...super-cute-short-girl-with-spiforific-smile from last semester's friday evening workshops is no where to be seen....awwww....Maybe she'll pop up sooner or later...=P
Right now, I'm currently sitting in the mole-cavern. Well, yeah...technically its the WinNT/SGI lab here at the school, but I call it the mole-hole...lemme describe for a second. Rows and rows of SGI's on one side of the lab, and NT machines on the other...the lights are out and basically the entire lab is lit by the glow of the monitors....really, no joke. There are desklamps scattered around each station, but for the most part they're all turned off. Eye candy level looks to be minimum...argh. Hehe...OKAY, okay...I'm a dude, sue me! Geez man! haha...But *ahem*, I'm here to do WORK, not to oogle women. Yes...indeed, the oogling comes later...right now, its Computer Animation Production homework, basically, learning a bit of After Effects.
Well, tomorrow is the big day again...hopefully I'll get a place...I'm running extra low on charm, and charisma is taking hits too...social skills are holding, but expected to wan soon...
I think by the time I'm done and out of school, I will be a mole...I'm serious dude...I'm sitting in the dark, staring at this huge 21+ inch monitor...every second I'm here, I can FEEL my sensitivity to light increasing...soon...my eyes will go beady...I'll have to squint at everything....oye...bye bye eye-sight.
Hmm...am I just procrastinating starting this bad boy? Mayhaps...HOY, I'm off.
2/9/2001 06:27:58 PM
Thursday, February 08, 2001
Its that time again when memories arise, of a certain song in my head...it makes me think of you in a spooky mood, with a halo hangin' over your head. With the angel, she dance, you sing, you told me once before...well. Now why won't you lie to me when you can set my pain free...my daddy knockin' on the door...Who says that I'm enjoyin' life cuz people were around...but the one I found can't be around so I'm feelin' down...on that early morning.
Hey people...just a song I'm listening to...
Sooo...man, I've been bad and haven't posted in a day or two huh? Don't worry, I've a wet noodle in one hand ready to hand down punishment once this post is finished. I think 10 lashings will do. *damn Dan, you're rough on yourself* I kno...
So there's hope on the horizon again...this Saturday, I'm gonna go check out a place with that family friend...this time she put down a 100 dollar down payment deal on my behalf...just to hold the place for me. She's a real doll. I'm hoping...I can't really help but hope, even though I think things would be easier if I didn't. More news when it comes down the ticker.
Two cute girls are sitting on either side of me...each looking thoroughly engrossed in whatever they're doing. *looks left*Girl on the left...cute face...but its the smile that gets me...string a collar on me and walk me like a dog if you've got a great smile...cuz I'm whipped. *looks right*The one on the right has got a cute face...like "little girl" cute...kinda "younger sister"-ish thing...*looks back right* If it were either or...based purely on looks...its her=) hehe...she just gestured at the screen cuz our internet here sometimes lags...heh..cute. Its cute when girls do stuff like that when they think no one in particular is actually lookin'...*looks again* heh...she's lookin' really intense...hmm...I wanna see her smile though...but then...hmm...don't wanna bother her.
I think I kno...I think I've figured myself out...well, its something I've always known, but now I can explain it using pop-culture-comic references. Ooooh...she looked over my way...ooh...heh. But yeah...about me again. Its like this....I'm like Superman. Yeah...you heard me right...no, no I don't wear my underwear outside of my pants....NOno...I can't compress coal into diamond(pefectly cut diamond I might add), but there is one thing...one simularity. Me...like him...needs a Fortress of Solitude to go home to. He? He can't just go live in ANY Metropolis apartment complex...I mean...think of the amount of junk mail he'd get. Me? I need a Fortress of Solitude to return to at day's end...to recharge my charm...my social skills...my generally positive outlook. I mean, where the hell else could I sing the National Anthem in nothing but a towel at 2 in the morning? THATS why I need a Fortress of Solitude. I need a place to unwind...act wierd...cuz yes, I AM wierd...I need to make jungle noises...I need to flip my eyelids up and look in the mirror and say "damn, you is one scary lookin' mofo!"...I need..."MINE". I can go without recharging for awhile...y'kno, and I'm still good to go...but eventually, energy will run low, charm-level...drops, social skills revert back to when I was a child...(thats minimal, near-non-existant man)...its kind of a Dr. Jeckle Mr. Hyde type thing...I'm all good with my "meds"...but take those away and I'm...a mime.
Yesterday around 10pm after class, I was walking out of the building and I ran into William...seems we've been bumping into each other a lot. He was just commin' out of his "3-D Modeling for Computer Games" and I was just out of Intro to Storyboarding. He decided to accompany me to grab a bite to eat...my newly discovered 24/hours Denny's was the destination. It felt pretty good to sit down and have a good meal with a friend after a few days of having meals inbetween classes down in the basement of our school buildings...I've been a sandwich-vending-machine whore as of late...we thought back on old times...a highlight was reminiscing over late nights online with him, Jermz, and myself...for a "20-minute turned 4 hour" session of Rogue Spear...haha...hell yes. Okay, thats all nerd talk...we just talked on random things...y'kno how it is. Topics ranged from pho horror stories(I know more than a FEW of you out there know mine) to the Back to the Future trilogy(classic man...don't even TRY to deny it...everyone tried to do that little skateboard pop thing he did in the movie at least once). Afterwards, much to my protest, he paid. Well, it just means its my turn next.
Well, with the remainder of my day...I plan to go to the Virgin Cafe again...yeps...I've been there alot recently...more because of the Sandman series than anything else...I'm finished with three of them, and its on to the fourth tonite...I'd have to say so far, on a pure enjoyment level, I liked the first one the most so far...even though the author says that that most of that book was written when he hadn't found his voice yet. Well, I'll give you guys a run down as I go through them.
Y'kno, I don't think I'm really taking advantage of classes so far...its more like just getting through them...its the housing thing man...its my yet-to-be-found Fortress of Solitude. Once I find it...its on...as it was...and will be....
Here I sit and stare into the cold air, at a cloud that pays me no mind. Knowing in my heart that I'm trying to see you in the bright blue sky. Never wear a suit, just a sweater and a pair of slacks, and some nice shoes to match, well...and the mist is in my eyes are full, cuz I'm ready to cry, but I'm not afraid, cuz I'm a guy. I told myself theres no use in waiting for you and your precious call...but only God knows I'd give my all to be with you, on that early morning.
2/8/2001 05:09:16 PM
Monday, February 05, 2001
Hmm...interesting....blah....BOOBIE BLAH! *pitooey* Eh...I'm in a transistional period of the semester...oye, and I need somewhere to live already. Got into another spat with pops...y'kno how a few days ago I was talking about how we always miscommunicate? Ha...score another point for the "miscommunication" team.
Anywayz, I didn't get to meet up with Willy...dang, just really bad timing for me right now...still gotta e-mail him.
Haha...Chris, I read your guestbook entry...Invisibles eh? Its not a Catcher In The Rye type thing is it? Heh...cuz I don't think I have time right now to off any presidents...
This living situation is starting to take a toll on me...ugh.
I've got the inspiration to do stuff, but I'd have to say this whole "house-hunt" and "living situation" is kinda holding me back...I don't have the energy, the means, and the time to do these things. *sigh* When things smooth out, I'll be kickin' some major ass again.
Well...thats it for today. Later people.
2/5/2001 05:02:23 PM
Sunday, February 04, 2001
"...but celebration or anything till I move in, give the guy the check, he gives me the keys and I settled down a bit...cuz I kno all too well how things THIS close can go horribly wrong."
And as if prophecy...it does. *sigh* Man, I'm tellin' you guys, I have THE worst luck at this whole housing thing...I mean, I've never had it this bad(luck-wise) with ANYthing else I can remember. I was pretty freakin' pissed off yesterday when I found out. Whats that? You want to hear what happened? Okay okay, its like this:
Well the dude told me to that if I wanted the room, just give him a call around 10:30-11pm when he gets home from work. So I do just that, and ring him at 10:45...he picks up and I basically tell him I'd like to take the room...and if possible, to move in tomorrow(today) morning...I guess he's a little taken by surprise or something...then he asks me to call back in about 5, because he's on the other line. I call back in 5...it rings and rings...I call back in another 5...ring ring...okay, its cool I guess...call back in another 5...ring ring...Okay, I'm feelin' like I'm bein' dicked around now...call back in another 5 and finally he picks up...we chat it up a bit, and he says he hasn't talked to his wife yet..."what time does she get back?" "hmm...about 12:15am or so" "okay, great...I'll give you a ring at about 12:20?" "Sure"
12:20 rolls around and I give him an extra 3 minutes...12:23 I call...phone picks up..."Dan?" "Yep"...so he asks me to talk to his wife..."Hello?" "Hello" "Can you speak Chinese?" "No, I'm actually Vietnamese..." "What? You can't speak Chinese?" "No, y'see I went to see the room with a family friend, who could speak Chinese.." "Oh...here, talk to my husband"
Then I start gettin' the run around...like, "oh, you cook? Yeah, its okay like 2wice a week(WTF? A man should be able to cook however many damn times he feels like...you punk), but any more would be too much...you know about the gas prices and electricity. And you get home late...blah blah blah" Basically, I tried to kinda smoothly let him know that I wouldn't be cooking late, and even though I had class late, I didn't really make much noise...but inside, I was thinking, "Fuck all this...cook twice a week? Can't come home late from school? I don't wanna live with a bunch of tight wads like this..." And so it was....I didn't get the place.
I was pissed...even though it didn't show over the phone...I went outside to a payphone...while everyone was in their clubbing gear, wandering the streets, with happy thoughts on their minds, and jokes comming out of their mouths...I was marching past all this, in a foul as hell mood...I called pops to let him know...mainly I wanted him to see how hard it REALLY WAS to get a place here...how things can just turn on you like that, when you think its a done deal...IT IS NOT A DONE DEAL UNTIL YOU LIVE IN THE PLACE, WITH YOUR KEY, etc...and even then, shit can go wrong...I'm starting to get tired of dealing with this under the table-chinese-connection shit...I want a lease already...I want a guarentee...and man did I wanna strangle that punk and his elitist wifey...
BUT...I think I'm over that now...I'm seeing some reason. Last night after talkin' to pops, I just went home...didn't wanna do anything, just go to sleep...and so I popped in my Getz and Gilberto cd and drifted off...
I think today I'm heading back to Virgin...I did last night while the Chinese parade was goin' down Market street. It was really cool...I saw a bit of it...and even though I'm not really a parade kinda guy, it was cute...I remember last year, there were these little kids dressed up as dragons, with paper masks they'd made in school...haha, I swear it was one of the cutest things I'd seen...I just wanted to go out there and (as Susan says) kidnap one of 'em...haha. Kids...damn, they're too cool.
Last night at Virgin, I read the last published Sin City graphic novel...I'd read everything else, and this one I guess I'd skipped over...it was a compilation of stories from different authors...it wasn't all that good...some stories were just too short to have any impact at all...if you've ever read a Sin City novel, you'll know that text is minimal...and with some of these stories clockin' in at about 5 pages or so...thats no more than a few sentances of text...oye. But then I started on the Sandman graphic novels...which I have to say, really blew me away...it was awsome. I'm hooked...haha. And so I'm starting on the second of the three storylines I wanted to read...Sin City(done), Sandman(started), and The Preacher(later).
Well, I've already got today planned out for myself. After a bit more computer time, I'm gonna call pops, see what the deal is...then head to Virgin, where I'll read the next Sandman...and get in those 15 gesture drawings of unsuspecting cafe go-ers...then tonite, on my way home, I'll stop off at this 24 hour Denny's I just found out about...hoy. Have a good day folks.
