Remember that great new place I was gonna move into? Not gonna happen. Just found out about an hour and a half ago when I called the "housemate guy". *Dan, can't you just move back into your old place?* nope...they told me that people have already moved into those two empty rooms(including my room). *dude, why didn't they call you to tell you??* Because...they "lost my phone number". An act of gross negligence.
Do I seem calm? Its taking some effort, let me tell you...when I just found out, no one was going to stop me from ringing all three of their bloody necks. I was almost numb in disbelief...I wanted to cuss them out...I wanted to scream...if you guys remember my past negative experience in trying to find a place...you'll know that it was what I wanted to avoid most: A "down-to-the-wire", do or die, find a place in one week, where will you live?, school starts in a week, got fucked up the ass, be more cautious when placing trust, stress your nuts off, get an ulcer, lose your appetite, kind of house hunt. Well, I think I can safely say all things dealing with tryin' to find a place to live always turn around and fuck me up the ass(am I being crass? Well, there is a time for everything I suppose).
Now, there are two ways to handle this...I could just get skitchy, and start the stressing...grow the gray hairs, start thinking about all the "what-ifs", start getting very very very desperate, get very very depressed, run around the house pulling out my hair and stressin' out everyone around me. I could linger over me getting burned...I could get down on my knees, hands raised to the heavens, and curse fate for handing me a big "fuck you". Yeah...I could go and do that. Sure I could...but I see this as a sort of test. A test of some of my views on life...how I believe stressing gets one nowhere but an early grave. How life hands you "fuck you"'s every so often(although lately its been feeling like I'm being favored in this regard), and you either cope and deal, or you give up. How everything can be seen in a positive light, even if at the time it doesn't seem like it. How life is about experiences...feelin' the lows and bein' fucked is just part of it. How one's environment doesn't so much dictate our happiness, as we ourselves do. And we all know that "talk" is cheap, and the money is in the "doing". So the other option would be to "do". That is...to back up what I always say with some action. To tell myself, "yeah, you've been fucked...you've been handed the big "fuck you". Whats done is done...damn....that sucks...big. Now, lets get to tryin' to fix things so they're not so bad. Remember, whats done is done. There's no point to dwelling on the past...so lets try to fix it. Also remember all the positive stuff goin' for ya in life....Good. Alrite, so lets do it...we'll tear it up." So thats what I chose to do...I kno there'll be times when I feel myself start sayin', "...holy SHIT, I can't believe this shit happened to me...now I'm in this place...this situation I tried everything to avoid...life is fuckin' against my ass!!!" But damn...I'll have to repeat my mantra to myself.
Having said that...I e-mailed a friend of mine that was lookin' to sublet out his place, inquiring if he was still doing that. Its a long shot...but even if the answer is "no", he's a good ally in my task at hand. I went on Craigslist.com(bay area housing message board) and did the whole e-mailing people thing. Tomorrow I'll call my old landlord for a check for my security deposit and maybe some help on finding a place...which is also a long shot. I have one or two places from Craigslist to call...but basically, I'm planning that none of those above will pan out to anything. If you've ever been on the hunt in SF, you'll know its damn near impossible to find anything if you're not in the city to have a look at the place and meet the landlord. Worse come to worse, I'll be flying up with my prepaid airline ticket for the 27th...a Saturday...with school starting on Monday...I'll find some temporary housing in SF...I kno, its gonna be damn near "homeless" standards...I'll only be bringing my barest of essentials, and I'll try to use to computers at school to continue my online search. I'll make phone calls from school payphones...whatever it takes. Meanwhile, my brother will keep the rest of my belongings. Oh yeah...I haven't told my brother and my dad yet. Knowing them, its gonna be my problem...which is totally cool...I'm old enough to handle emergencies like this, right? Right.
Okay...well, as of tonite, there's nothing more I can do...I'm gonna go downstairs to have a glass of OJ...btw...can you all join me in chorus...on the count of three....one....two....three....FUCK!
1/19/2001 12:48:30 AM
Thursday, January 18, 2001
Dan: but hoy, would u be terribly angry if we rescheduled our "vintage day" tomorro to another time? I just found out its my mom's bday tomorro, and I wanna take her out to lunch Ger: OH my gosh! you forgot your mom's BDAY!? Ger: What the heck dan? Ger: that sucks!! Dan: umm...nO! I didn't forget...y'see, the thing is I never knew...haha...DAMN I'm BAD!! Dangit....but yeah, I found out in time, and I'm gonna arrange for a bouquet of flowers to be delivered to her work tomorro, so all her co-workers could see how much her family loves her=) Ger: Awwwwwwww Ger: i cant believe you dan!! Dan: I'm bad...dangit, someone spank me already! (psst...way to make a guy feel bad Ger)
Yes...its true, I haven't memorized my mom's bday...I'm evil, I'm insensitive, I'm a butthole surfer, etc....*sigh* BUT, I have been informed IN TIME to do something for moms. SooOo, it shall be done.
Man, yesterday, I called up my "cannot-speak-english-almost-at-all" housemate...I called his cell, the only connection I have to him, to them....to my new place...."...this number has been temporarily disconnected" HOLY ISH! Aye...but today, talkin' to my neighbor, I was told that there's a possibility that it may be the rolling blackouts takin' effect in NorCalifornia. I'll try again tonite. Dang...worse come to worse, I'll ask my brother to roll by the actual place and knock on the door....sheesh, I knew there'd be complications like this...NOTHING goes smoothly in terms of housing in SF...yeesh.
Well, yesterday I finally got a hold of "she" and we headed out for some pizza at the Round Table Pizza in Rancho Bernardo...man, I haven't been back in at least 8 years...but that used to be the location of the Friday Family Dinners out each week...I came back and of course things had changed, remodeled and all that...but some of the things were still the same...like a few of the paintings on the wall, and the KICK arse pizza....even though the prices damn near doubled since.
That evening, it was out clubbin' at Plan B...yea yea, "one dollar you call it" night...I love that shit!=P Man, its the "Welfare Drunk"s dream. Even though my bro thinks the place is a bit "ghetto" or whatever, I'm cool with it. I had fun, but shoot, whenever my man Jerome and I go out, we have a ball. I think he may win the "Mack of the Year" contest, that guy...nyhehe. But anyhoo, I tried to blog when I got home, still buzzin', to see how it would come out, but the blogger server must've been down when I tried.
Today I headed out with "she" again...this time, to introduce me to that magical place known simply as....Walmart. I had the whole Walmart experience...walked around, looked at stuff...interacted with the amiable staff...ate at the in-store Micky-Ds, and bought the 25 cent drinks out of the machine in front of the store....wow...hehe...cool place.
I think I've got tomorrow planned nicely so far...in the morning(Yay, I'll finally get to experience morning!) I'll arise...I'll take my mom out to lunch for her bday...then I believe she's working, so hopefully everything will go through alrite with the florist(my bro said to try FTD...they have a website and I think I can order online...how fargin' convenient!) and she'll have a beautiful bouquet of flowers delivered to her there...and her co-workers will all say, "AAAWwwwwwww...(in unison)" And my mom will just look around and say, "psshh...I get this kinda thing ALL the time...thats how my family is...they kick ass.."...heh....then in the evening, a lot of us are meeting up at Todai, a japanese restaurant, for dinner...all arranged by John. SoooOo, you guys reading this, I believe 7pm tomorro is the meet time...be there or be a shape with four equal sides...Oh...I forgot you're not hip to the hip talk...thats square baby...
1/18/2001 07:04:37 PM
Wednesday, January 17, 2001
Hey...how have ya been? I feel like we don't talk like we used to...so....lets talk. Haven't seen ya in awhile. Yeah...I kno huh? But its okay...hey, we're doin' our own thing, but y'kno we'll always be there for each other...so what happened to him? Oh dude...I heard about that...wow...okay, okay...on to the entry.
How am I? Well...I guess I've been a little meloncholy lately...eh. I'm not completely certain what it is, and I'm not exactly in the mood to go and sort it out. Its a little against my "ways" I kno, but hoy...I think I'll just and try to wait it out. hmm...actually, I'm sure its not any one thing, but a compilation...*sigh*.
Last night in bed I put it on my agenda to call up Susan and "she"...I'd been trying to call "she" for the past few nights just to talk...cuz well, I guess I kinda missed our talks and I needed someone to talk to...but she's a hard girl to get a hold of it seems=) But yeah...I gave Susan a call and she said, "I'm taking you with me on a few errands, and we'll go eat afterwards." Yes ma'am *salute*
Well, she picked me up at about 3:45...it was good to see her again. I haven't seen her since I'd been back, because she'd gone back to her home state to visit the fam, party and get MAD DRUNK! hah...yeah, she's a drunkard...hehe...kidding. But its funny how she's down now, but before if we were to mention "drinking" she would've been Ms. Cautious.=)
We just rolled to the neighborhood Target and picked up a few items while she recounted tales of craziness during her trip..."Hey, wanna eat after this?" "Sure...hmm...do you like salad?" "uhh....no..." "wha? whats wrong with salad...soup and salad...lets go to Souplantation! I love that place." "Uhh...I don't wanna eat salad right now...I want some REAL food...some MEAT!" heh...man, I dunno why Souplantation gets such a bad rap about not serving "real" food...that place kicks ass! And I digs...but of course, I was brought up on Souplantation. Friday Family-out dinners used to always be there......now everyones in their own places...far away from each other. Hmm...maybe thats why I wanna eat there...not only cuz it kicks major ass, but the fond memories. ANYWAYZ...heh...we ended up eating at that place with the "real food...y'kno...the meat".
Susan paid...hah...*damn Dan, such a scrub...get all your friends to pay for you* HA! As if...shoot, I protested...but she had already smacked down the credit card. oye...well, I'll get her back...I'll just have to get caveman on her if she refuses..."YO WOMAN! I'm PAYIN' FOR YOU and You IS GONNA LIKE IT!" haha...hmm...so we sat down and caught up some more...gave Jerome a call to meet us there after work...that was in about 2 1/2 hours from then. Could we last that long? Pssshh...hell yes, and THEN some. We ended up staying there for 4 hours, including chill time with Jerome. I think thats a record-time at a buffet. Where's my trophy? Shoot...the guys and I always had a fantasy of someday, comming to a buffet in the morning, with a few boardgames, some pillows and blankets, some laxatives, a gameboy, and a big ass appetite....and basically staying till it closed. PRETTY crazy, I kno...but it shall happen one day...there need only be a time and place...and I'll be there....silverware in hand.
After we ate ourselves into near oblivion, we headed out to Susan's car...and y'kno how things go...we just lingered...listening to tunes...chattin'....in Susan's car...outside of Hometown Buffet....yeah, we're wierd like that...but thats why we're so cool.=)
I tried to ring "she" a few times tonite, but to no avail either...of course if I really wanted to get a hold of her, or anyone for that matter, I could call their cell...but something about me restrains me to call people's cells "just to talk". Wierd eh? Hmm...tomorro I'm headin' down to a club with "one dollar you call it Wed nights"...hopefully Susan can join Jerome and me...but she's got 7am class...man, thats one easy way to screw yourself...morning class...heh.
I've been on a Lenny Kravitz binge today. More of his accoustic live stuff...I digs....in fact, at this moment I'm listening to him on my new mp3 player...on my new mp3 earphones....with winamp just a few clicks away....go fig.=)
Hmm...is there anything to say? Well...hmm...I guess I don't feel very productive these last two or three days..mostly staying home with moms...and even if I go out a few times, I don't feel like I'm at my optimum operating level...therefore, I'm not taking full advantage of this vacation...and I've only got about a week and a half left. *did he say only?* I kno there are a lot of other people I should be calling, hanging with...old chums from waay back in the day...there a lot of other places I want to re-visit in SD...I need to get out...I need to drive around...I need to be to the little nooks and crannies...just like butter on those toasted english muffins. Alone, with friends...whatever...I just need to take advantage of this vacation...smell the airs, walk the streets, visit the shops, talk to the people...
I think I've bored enough of y'all out there...so lemme just stop.=) I'm goin' to sleep early tonite. I tried it last night, and I succeeded in getting into bed early, but thoughts just kept me up. *yawn* Kay, gonna go sing for a bit...it always seems to soothe the soul for me...then off to bed...night all.
1/17/2001 01:43:22 AM
Tuesday, January 16, 2001
Well, just got through watching Boogie Nights...wow...whata downer man. heh...I suppose it ended on a high note...but hmm...not really....but at least it wasn't tragic...aiy...y'kno, it just reminds me of why I didn't become a porn star....*sigh* heh..kidding.
Last night I watched The Godfather...a classic, and rightly so. I really had no idea it was so old though. I mean, '72 is pretty darn old. Anywayz, thats another notch on the belt for the classics....yeah, I'm tryin' to watch as many of those classic films as I can...movies effect society and vice versa, so I think one can gain a deeper insight on society by watching flics.=) And the classics...well, its cool to see where all the social references COME from. For instance, The Godfather was basically the first one to do, what is now considered cliche. Y'kno...this is where it all came from....ANYhoo.
I think my mom is gettin' kinda sentimental after my dad and brother left on Sunday..I think she's missin' how it used to be with all of us living at home...I heard her say today, "I'm gonna be so lonely when you leave." Yeah....aiy...I wish we could just take her up there with us...but I'm tryin' to get her involved in some positive things to keep her busy...like today, we went to the gym together....she hasn't been for a couple months, and honestly, neither had I(ha!). So hopefully this will kickstart a habbit...also, I encouraged her to rent a movie every now and then....just go out with friends, have tea together, y'kno...but of course, ONE step at a time...I'll try to ease her into some of those things before I go back to school.
Welps, I'm goin' to bed an hour early tonite...yeah, I want to see a MORNING! I kno...its pretty damn ambitious the way I've been going so far...so take care alls, hope you guys are takin' care.
1/16/2001 03:17:49 AM
Monday, January 15, 2001
...AND...I just wrote a post that up and dissappeared on me...damnite. I can't WAIT to get back to workin' with my bebe...instead of this piece of arse computer here at home...grrrrrr
1/15/2001 04:13:40 AM
Sunday, January 14, 2001
Nyheheh....I'm now listening to my very new, very own...very cool...mp3 player.=) Yep yep...'bery 'bery cool...my bro got it for me for Christmas...wow, new toys are dopalicious! I wasn't able to blog yesterday because two of my dad's friends spent the night at the house, sleeping in the computer room....
Yesterday was my brother's bday, and as you can remember, I had yet to get him a gift...so around 4pm, I headed out with my lil' cuz to UTC..my intention was to get him some stylin' Banana pants, but things turned out for the better....I wanted to get him something that was cool, in a different style than he usually wears...and I think we did that. I got him a nice fitted polo from Structure and some rugged, straight leg jeans from Eddie Baurer.
I got home from the mall a little late and we had to get a move on to the French restaurant in Rancho Bernardo for his bday dinner. When I got there...I guess what they say about Rancho Bernardo is true...I looked around...rich...OLD...retired...white people. I was told the word is homogenous.=) For the most part, everyone seemed nice enough...the restaurant itself was very nice indeed...the atmosphere was warm and cozy...with wood on the fire, and soft music playing above a lively crowd chatter. The service was top notch, and the food was...purdy good...and it was there, after dinner that I opened my brother's gift. I'd always had the idea that he would get me this, but hey, its different to THINK and to KNO something...very cool.
When we got home, my brother was off with his friends to Dave and Busters(which is basically a Chuckie Cheese for adults....meaning it as a bar...imagine, drunk 20-somethings playing carnival games...*shiver*) while I was off to Chris's house to watch Way of the Gun with Ryan and Mark...and thats basically all that went down yesterday.
Today, I spent the morning playing with my mp3 player. I finally got the thing to download music from my computer. It came preloaded with a few songs from obscure bands so its nice to load up tunes that I'm familiar with and can sing along to! heh. I've got to drive my bro to the airport this evening..as for my dad, he's leaving in about an hour or so. SOoOo...more later.
